The Blind Side of Nabal

 

The Blind Side of Nabal

             As you read the story of Nabal, you get the distinct impression that others view him differently from the way he views himself.  If he made a list of adjectives to describe himself, the list would be very different from the list those in his circle of influence would choose.  What causes this misalignment?

            In the 1950s, two psychologists created a model for mapping our personality awareness.  Subjects were shown a list of 58 adjectives and asked to pick the five or six that best described them.  The same list was given to their peers so they could also evaluate the subject.  The adjectives were then mapped on a grid.  The Johari Window, designed by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingraham, displayed both traits that overlapped and ones that differed in its four panels: 

·         The Open quadrant contained the adjectives that both the subjects and his peers identified as personality traits of the subject.  These characteristics were commonly known by both the subject and his peers.

·         The Hidden panel contained those adjectives that only the subject identified.  The peer group was unaware that the subject viewed himself in this way.

·         The Blind Spot panel contained adjectives that the peer group identified but  the subject did not.  These adjectives were a part of the personality of the subject, but he didn’t know it.

·         The Unknown quadrant listed all the unused adjectives.  Neither the subject nor his peers had chosen them.  The adjectives either did not apply or there was collective blindness about these traits. 

            Nabal is an interesting case because his blind spot is large.  Those around him keep secrets.  Those around him allow him to live in his own illusion while carrying on the business of the house in a covert kind of way.  Nabal has an aspect of his personality that he has not faced.  He remains ignorant of the least desirable aspects of his personality.  Perhaps his money and his pride shield him from knowing what everyone else knows.  Nabal is a fool.

 

What Nabal Can See

            Everyone knows that Nabal is a wealthy man.  His power and influence in the region earn him the Hebrew description, “great.”  He is a very successful businessman in that agrarian culture.  Even if he inherited the flocks from parents, they have prospered and grown under his care.  When the time for sheep-shearing comes, his genius is shown in the great collection of raw materials for fiber, fabric, and cloth.  The celebration that comes with every shearing is owed to his talent.  In wealth acquisition, he displays real skill.  The greatness of Nabal is in the open or arena quadrant of the Johari Window.  Everybody knows it. 

            Wealth also insulates Nabal from his shadow, the less desirable parts of his personality.  Friends, family, and business associates choose not to confront Nabal with those traits.  Do they fear an angry response?  Will they personally lose favor or wealth in that process?  Or, have they tried in countless ways and their attempts have fallen on deaf ears?  How many good and competent business partners have been alienated by him or chosen to walk away?   As a result, on the large stage that wealth provides, he unwittingly displays the foolishness that others so plainly see.

 

What Others Can See

            Nabal’s name is proverbial whether his parents gave it to him or not.  His life has become the epitome of the kind of person Wisdom begs sons not to become:  A Scorner.  Scorners are fools who ridicule things sacred and serious.  They believe they sound wise and powerful, but to others they sound ridiculous.  Their folly is manifest to all men, yet Nabal is self-deceived (Proverbs 14:8).  What can others see?

1.       Nabal is always right in his own eyes.  He trusts his own mind and is supremely self-confident  (See Proverbs 14:16; 28:26).  Self-confidence is good, but he is never willing to admit error.  No one chooses to confront him when he slanders David and scoffs at his request.  They will not attempt to rescue the situation by speaking to Nabal.  Instead, they will run to his wife.

2.       Nabal always speaks his mind.  He gives full vent to his spirit, he does not hold it back (see Proverbs 29:11).  He babbles on (Proverbs 10:8).  You sense he delights to air his own opinions when he speaks proverbially about servants and masters (see Proverbs 18:12).  Good men will be driven from his presence because they find no value in his words (Proverbs 14:7).

3.       Nabal is always in conflict.  He will always be quarreling (Proverbs 20:3) and his lips will walk into a fight (Proverbs 18:6-7).  The existence of a covert network around him to handle “situations” is proof that conflict is a habit with Nabal.

4.       Nabal will slander and injure others with his words.  He delights in scoffing (Proverbs 1:22) even when others are offended or injured by his words (Proverbs 9:7-8).  “Who is this David?”  He shows no respect or honor and he is not afraid to slander David, the future king (Proverbs 10:18). 

5.       Nabal has no regard for spiritual things (Proverbs 14:9).  He has no sense for what God is doing in the world through David, no respect for his anointing, and no compassion for David’s men.  His ridicule of the religious and the serious makes himself look ridiculous.

6.       Nabal will bear the judgment for his foolishness (Proverbs 9:12).  A scoffer’s babbling will come to ruin and his condemnation is ready (Proverbs 19:29).  His foolishness will end in disgrace (Proverbs 3:35).

 

Nabal’s Leadership

            Nabal’s obvious blind spot tells the reader a lot about his leadership.  He neither understands others nor himself.   In the blind spot are the obstacles to a successful organization.  Individual ignorance or delusion creates an atmosphere of fear.  The blind spot is neither an effective nor productive space.  Others in the organization will deliberately withhold issues from the leader.  Feedback is stifled and fear is increased.  Conflict increases, relationships die, and stability, continuity, and harmony are sacrificed on the altar of Nabal’s pride.

            Team builders suggest that through self-discovery or through positive, open, and free discussions the blind spot can be reduced.  The leader will be responsible for cultivating a culture of helpful, constructive communication throughout his organization.  It is a fundamental aspect of effective leadership.  Does anyone doubt that Nabal has never solicited feedback?

            Nabal’s personality, exhibited in I Samuel 25, allows no mutual understanding in his family or his organization.  The only gifts and abilities on display are Nabal’s own.  Working with Nabal is demoralizing:  The gifts and abilities of his coworkers go essentially unused.  New ideas and feedback to Nabal’s ideas are left unspoken.  Nabal’s ideas are not made stronger as a result of the interaction.  The ideas of his servants go unspoken and the household does not profit. 

            Nabal’s business acumen keeps him afloat but the workers under him will chafe at his leadership.  His household rises and falls on his decisions alone.  Workers have no autonomy and will need to be assisted at every level in order to conform their work to Nabal’s desires.  All decisions have to come through Nabal.  Team unity cannot happen and servants look out for their own best interests.  Goals are achieved but relationships flounder.  All workers will be unsatisfied in their work and move to another position when they can. 

 

Can Nabal Learn?

            Everything rises or falls on leadership.  The atmosphere in an organization is changed from the top.  He will set the tone by listening, fostering relationships, delegating, and displaying emotional intelligence in the workplace.  Does this sound like Nabal?

            As long as Nabal is breathing, there is hope.   Divine intervention is not nearly as rare as one might suppose:  “The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the LORD; he turns it wherever he will” (Proverbs 21:1).   Prayer can turn a scorner into something new.  “Toward the scorners he is scornful, but to the humble he gives favor” (Proverbs 3:34).  The remedy is humility.

            Proverbs is ambiguous about the effectiveness of confronting a fool about his folly.  If you answer a fool, you run the risk of becoming like him (cp. Proverbs 26:4).  If you do not answer him, he remains wise in his own eyes, yet a fool in everyone else’s (cp. Proverbs 26:5).  If you approach him, be humble yourself and ready with a listening ear. There is a promise for you:  “Those who rebuke the wicked will have delight and receive blessing” (Proverbs 24:25).

             The example of Esther and her approach to Xerxes may be instructive.  The situation was desperate and she had to have his ear to save the lives of her people.  She approached the king with overwhelming grace and manners.  She piqued his attention with her requests and she was careful to lay out exactly what was needed when the time came to speak.  Her approach worked, but then again, Xerxes was no fool.

            Abigail’s approach to David is another example.  She approached him with an attitude of humility.  She identified with his situation and knew how to appeal to his better nature.  David listened to her wisdom.  He praised God for her intervention.  But David is no fool either.

            Our narrative doesn’t end well for Nabal.  As a result, we are not told what works and what doesn’t.  Living with the decisions of a Nabal is a difficult thing.  May God give us grace in our dealings with him.