Shimei and Ittai were very different people. Shimei was Hebrew, a Benjamite and a relative of Saul. Ittai was a Gittite, a foreigner and former citizen of Gath in the land of the Philistines. One had lived in Israel all his life. The other had arrived only yesterday.
Both had the opportunity to speak to King David during one of the lowest points of his reign. His son Absalom had stolen the hearts of the people and driven David out of Jerusalem. On his way, David meets, first Ittai, then Shimei. What they say to David tells you everything you need to know about the man. In one conversation, you know whether you would like the man for a friend, whether you would trust him with your secrets, whether you could ever learn to love him.
You don't even have to know the situation, if David was right or wrong. You only have to hear the words they say to him. Ittai said 31 words. In those 31 words, I know I would covet his friendship. I would fight with him, protect and defend him, and if necessary, die with him. Want to listen in on their conversation?
The king said to Ittai the Gittite, "Why should you come along with us? Go back and stay with King Absalom. You are a foreigner, an exile from your homeland. You came only yesterday. And today shall I make you wander about with us, when I do not know where I am going? Go back and take your countrymen. May kindness and faithfulness be with you.”
But Ittai replied to the king, "As surely as the LORD lives, and as my lord the king lives, wherever my lord the king may be, whether it means life or death, there will your servant be.”
See what I mean? 31 words and you know the man's loyalty, his character, his humility, his willingness to persevere, and his heart. One sentence and you know him!
You get another kind of response from the words of Shimei. His speech to David is translated in 55 words.
he cursed as he came out. He pelted David and all the king's officials
with stones, though all the troops and the special guard were on David's right
and left. As he cursed Shimei said, "Get out, get out, you man of blood,
you scoundrel! The Lord has repaid you for all the blood you shed in the
household of Saul, in whose place you have reigned. The LORD has handed the
kingdom over to your son Absalom. You have come to ruin because you are a man
of blood!
From one recorded speech, what do you sense? A brooding bitterness, a deep-seated disrespect for authority, a violent heart. This man I would keep at arm's length, but not trust to leave my sight. He might say nice things now, but a long-lasting friendship is not in the cards. Why?
Ittai was on the path with David at Mahanaim when Shimei cursed them. Before a grieving David, two hearts were laid bare. We know their hearts because we heard their words. From their words, it is not hard to predict their actions.
The Power of the Tongue
Proverbs 18:21 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death." That is tremendous
potential! Words are powerful because they are rooted in the heart of the speaker. What a
person says is clear indication
of his attitude. Jesus said, "For out of the overflow of the heart, the
mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him,
and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him"
(Matthew 12:34-35). What you say, for better or worse, is a reflection of what
is in your heart. Inside Ittai was a powerful and faithful heart. Inside Shimei
was a heart bent on destruction.
The tongue in the hand of a fool is an awful weapon.
His reckless words can "pierce like a sword" (12:18). "The words
of the wicked lie in wait for blood" (12:6). The mouth of the fool gushes
folly (15:2) and he loves to hear himself talk" (18:12). His words make it
past our natural 
defenses and stab at our souls.
Sometimes a person will excuse his verbal violence by
saying, "I was just being honest." A woman tried to justify her words
once to Billy Sunday by saying, "It passes, it is done with 
quickly." "So does a
shotgun blast," he replied.
The fool destroys others with his words, and he destroys himself. The sage uses graphic pictures to describe the consequences: "Violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked" (10:11) and a "perverse tongue will be cut out" (10:31). His mouth sets a trap for his own feet (12:13).
Lady Astor and Winston Churchill were ideological opposites in the British government in the days leading up to World War Il. Their verbal exchanges were legendary. After one heated meeting, she said, "Winston, if I were your wife, I'd put poison in your coffee." He responded, "Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it."
Another time, when they happened to see each other during a social engagement, she exclaimed, "Winston, you're drunk." He responded, "And you're ugly. In the morning, I'll be sober."
We laugh until we understand their perspective. Lady Astor was part of the group in the British parliament who preferred appeasement to military intervention. Churchill knew the nation would have to stand up to the evil that was Hitler. She was also in favor of prohibition. The first bill she authored prohibited the sale of alcohol to people under the age of 18. He was known to drink. Politically and socially, they were the embodiment of the opposition. "I was only joking" (26:18-19) hid darker attitudes.
The attitude of the heart, the words of the mouth, and the actions a person takes are tied together. The mouth is the first indication of what is inside the heart. The tongue may boast mighty things, but it is really a slave to the heart. It gives us a clear view of who we really are. It is also the first indication of what will be the future actions of a man. When the heart changes, the speech changes, and the actions follow.
Proverbs says that a wise man will learn to guide his mouth and so promote instruction (16:23). When husbands and wives argue, there is the potential of doing devastating harm to the relationship. The words of parents are powerful molders of personality in their children. A lifetime of consistent encouragement comes unraveled with one word said in anger. Most of us know the devastating effects of words. Words spoken by a significant person have changed the whole course of our lives.
If the tongue of the fool can produce such devastation, what can the tongue of the wise do? "The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life" (10:11). Water quenches thirst and provides for fruitfulness in an agricultural economy. Words of the wise provide a source for satisfaction, joy, and fruit. Incredible good can result from the prudent use of words. Kind words can bring healing (12:25) and wise words can rescue from the danger of a fool (12:6; 12:13). The mouth of the wise fills a man's life with good things (12:14; 13:2; 18:20). For those who can control their tongue, it can become like a rare jewel (20: 15) and choice silver (10:20). The tongue can also be used to nourish others (10:21) and to cheer an anxious heart (12:25). The tongue can display wisdom born in the heart (10:31).
Pitfalls in Speech
More relationships are ruined because of an uncontrolled tongue. The tongue has many ways to cause pain and division, but there are three besetting sins of the tongue: Lying, gossip, and quarreling. Rumors and the slander involved in gossip have a particular appeal. Somehow, we think we are being let in on a secret and the words slide down into our innermost parts. Gossip betrays our confidence (20:19). Their secrets are choice morsels (26:22) that can slip past wisdom's defenses. Gossip can separate even the closest of friends (16:28).
There are also those who can wade into a conversation and stir up a quarrel. Their love for a good argument is a love for sin (17:19). Their words are like fuel thrown onto a fire (26:21) which continues to burn until it destroys the relationship. A prudent response, however, can cause the quarrel to die out (26:20).
Honesty and deceit are also expressed by the tongue, The Lord detests lies but delights in the truth (12:22). Kings also take pleasure in honest lips even when the truth is not pleasant (16: 13). The truth does not deceive, and a forthright reply is like a kiss on the lips to a wise man (24:26). Lies, however, show hatred for those they hurt (26:28) and they crush the spirit (15:4).
Deception offers a disguise to a malicious man (26:24), but in the end all liars fall into trouble (17:20). The lie will only last for a moment before it is found out and brings its creator to ruin (12:19). The truth endures forever.
Taming the Tongue
James tells us that the tongue is a restless evil that no man can tame (James 3:8). Can wisdom give us any help in putting a bridle on our tongues so that we begin to bring healing and help to those around us? The sage tells us that learning to hold our tongue is a good place to start. "He who holds his tongue is wise"(10:19;11:12). A wise man learns to keep his knowledge to himself (12:23) and even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent (17:28). Socrates had a oratory student who talked so incessantly that he demanded double fees. His reasoning was explained to his student this way: "Because I must teach you two sciences: the one is how to hold your tongue, and the other is how to speak." The one who guards his lips guards his life (13:3).
Remaining silent rather than speaking your mind, or delighting in airing your own opinions, allows you to weigh your answers. The wise person uses words with restraint (17:27) and learns to listen before answering (18:13). When a man learns to weigh his answers (21 :23), he exhibits the beginnings of wisdom and righteousness in his own heart. The discipline of the heart now guides the tongue (16:23). Silence and restraint protect us from being drawn into an argument.
What intrigues me about the topic of the tongue is the good that it can do. If we can stop the damage that we do with our lips, a world of power and influence will open up to us. A gentle word has the power to break a bone (25:15) and turn away wrath (15:1). Sweetness and healing come as a result of pleasant words (16:24). Pleasant words can also prepare a stubborn or frustrated mind for learning (16:21). Arguments can be won and minds changed with careful listening and encouragement.
The sage summarizes the power of the tongue when he writes: "The tongue that brings
healing is a tree of life" (15:4). The tongue under control is a source of great blessing and reward. Marriages would heal, the workplace could become a place of mutual help and comradery, and wayward children would return and learn respect again. The tongue holds the power of life and death. Don't follow the way of Shimei. Choose life.
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