The
Blind Side of Nabal
As you read the story of Nabal, you
get the distinct impression that others view him differently from the way he
views himself. If he made a list of
adjectives to describe himself, the list would be very different from the list
those in his circle of influence would choose.
What causes this misalignment?
In the 1950s, two psychologists
created a model for mapping our personality awareness. Subjects were shown a list of 58 adjectives
and asked to pick the five or six that best described them. The same list was given to their peers so
they could also evaluate the subject.
The adjectives were then mapped on a grid. The
Johari Window, designed by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingraham, displayed
both traits that overlapped and ones that differed in its four panels:
·
The
Open quadrant contained the
adjectives that both the subjects and his peers identified as personality
traits of the subject. These
characteristics were commonly known by both the subject and his peers.
·
The
Hidden panel contained those
adjectives that only the subject identified.
The peer group was unaware that the subject viewed himself in this way.
·
The
Blind Spot panel contained
adjectives that the peer group identified but
the subject did not. These
adjectives were a part of the personality of the subject, but he didn’t know
it.
·
The
Unknown quadrant listed all the
unused adjectives. Neither the subject
nor his peers had chosen them. The
adjectives either did not apply or there was collective blindness about these
traits.
Nabal is an interesting case because
his blind spot is large. Those around
him keep secrets. Those around him allow
him to live in his own illusion while carrying on the business of the house in
a covert kind of way. Nabal has an
aspect of his personality that he has not faced. He remains ignorant of the least desirable
aspects of his personality. Perhaps his
money and his pride shield him from knowing what everyone else knows. Nabal is a fool.
What Nabal Can See
Everyone knows that Nabal is a
wealthy man. His power and influence in
the region earn him the Hebrew description, “great.” He is a very successful businessman in that
agrarian culture. Even if he inherited
the flocks from parents, they have prospered and grown under his care. When the time for sheep-shearing comes, his
genius is shown in the great collection of raw materials for fiber, fabric, and
cloth. The celebration that comes with
every shearing is owed to his talent. In
wealth acquisition, he displays real skill.
The greatness of Nabal is in the open or arena quadrant of the Johari Window. Everybody knows it.
Wealth also insulates Nabal from his
shadow, the less desirable parts of his personality. Friends, family, and business associates
choose not to confront Nabal with those traits.
Do they fear an angry response?
Will they personally lose favor or wealth in that process? Or, have they tried in countless ways and
their attempts have fallen on deaf ears?
How many good and competent business partners have been alienated by him
or chosen to walk away? As a result, on
the large stage that wealth provides, he unwittingly displays the foolishness
that others so plainly see.
What Others Can See
Nabal’s name is proverbial whether
his parents gave it to him or not. His
life has become the epitome of the kind of person Wisdom begs sons not to
become: A Scorner. Scorners are fools who ridicule things sacred
and serious. They believe they sound
wise and powerful, but to others they sound ridiculous. Their folly is manifest to all men, yet Nabal
is self-deceived (Proverbs 14:8). What
can others see?
1.
Nabal is always right in his own
eyes. He trusts his own mind and is supremely
self-confident (See Proverbs 14:16;
28:26). Self-confidence is good, but he
is never willing to admit error. No one
chooses to confront him when he slanders David and scoffs at his request. They will not attempt to rescue the situation
by speaking to Nabal. Instead, they will
run to his wife.
2.
Nabal always speaks his mind.
He gives full vent to his spirit, he does not hold it back (see Proverbs
29:11). He babbles on (Proverbs
10:8). You sense he delights to air his
own opinions when he speaks proverbially about servants and masters (see
Proverbs 18:12). Good men will be driven
from his presence because they find no value in his words (Proverbs 14:7).
3.
Nabal is always in conflict.
He will always be quarreling (Proverbs 20:3) and his lips will walk into
a fight (Proverbs 18:6-7). The existence
of a covert network around him to handle “situations” is proof that conflict is
a habit with Nabal.
4.
Nabal will slander and injure
others with his words. He delights in scoffing (Proverbs 1:22) even
when others are offended or injured by his words (Proverbs 9:7-8). “Who is this David?” He shows no respect or honor and he is not
afraid to slander David, the future king (Proverbs 10:18).
5.
Nabal has no regard for spiritual
things (Proverbs
14:9). He has no sense for what God is
doing in the world through David, no respect for his anointing, and no
compassion for David’s men. His ridicule
of the religious and the serious makes himself look ridiculous.
6.
Nabal will bear the judgment for
his foolishness
(Proverbs 9:12). A scoffer’s babbling
will come to ruin and his condemnation is ready (Proverbs 19:29). His foolishness will end in disgrace
(Proverbs 3:35).
Nabal’s Leadership
Nabal’s obvious blind spot tells the
reader a lot about his leadership. He
neither understands others nor himself.
In the blind spot are the obstacles to a successful organization. Individual ignorance or delusion creates an
atmosphere of fear. The blind spot is
neither an effective nor productive space.
Others in the organization will deliberately withhold issues from the
leader. Feedback is stifled and fear is
increased. Conflict increases,
relationships die, and stability, continuity, and harmony are sacrificed on the
altar of Nabal’s pride.
Team builders suggest that through
self-discovery or through positive, open, and free discussions the blind spot
can be reduced. The leader will be
responsible for cultivating a culture of helpful, constructive communication
throughout his organization. It is a
fundamental aspect of effective leadership.
Does anyone doubt that Nabal has never solicited feedback?
Nabal’s personality, exhibited in I
Samuel 25, allows no mutual understanding in his family or his
organization. The only gifts and
abilities on display are Nabal’s own.
Working with Nabal is demoralizing:
The gifts and abilities of his coworkers go essentially unused. New ideas and feedback to Nabal’s ideas are
left unspoken. Nabal’s ideas are not
made stronger as a result of the interaction.
The ideas of his servants go unspoken and the household does not
profit.
Nabal’s business acumen keeps him
afloat but the workers under him will chafe at his leadership. His household rises and falls on his
decisions alone. Workers have no
autonomy and will need to be assisted at every level in order to conform their
work to Nabal’s desires. All decisions
have to come through Nabal. Team unity
cannot happen and servants look out for their own best interests. Goals are achieved but relationships
flounder. All workers will be
unsatisfied in their work and move to another position when they can.
Can Nabal Learn?
Everything rises or falls on
leadership. The atmosphere in an
organization is changed from the top. He
will set the tone by listening, fostering relationships, delegating, and
displaying emotional intelligence in the workplace. Does this sound like Nabal?
As long as Nabal is breathing, there
is hope. Divine intervention is not
nearly as rare as one might suppose:
“The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the LORD; he turns
it wherever he will” (Proverbs 21:1). Prayer can turn a scorner into something
new. “Toward the scorners he is
scornful, but to the humble he gives favor” (Proverbs 3:34). The remedy is humility.
Proverbs is ambiguous about the
effectiveness of confronting a fool about his folly. If you answer a fool, you run the risk of
becoming like him (cp. Proverbs 26:4).
If you do not answer him, he remains wise in his own eyes, yet a fool in
everyone else’s (cp. Proverbs 26:5). If
you approach him, be humble yourself and ready with a listening ear. There is a
promise for you: “Those who rebuke the
wicked will have delight and receive blessing” (Proverbs 24:25).
The example of Esther and her
approach to Xerxes may be instructive.
The situation was desperate and she had to have his ear to save the
lives of her people. She approached the
king with overwhelming grace and manners.
She piqued his attention with her requests and she was careful to lay
out exactly what was needed when the time came to speak. Her approach worked, but then again, Xerxes
was no fool.
Abigail’s approach to David is
another example. She approached him with
an attitude of humility. She identified
with his situation and knew how to appeal to his better nature. David listened to her wisdom. He praised God for her intervention. But David is no fool either.
Our narrative doesn’t end well for
Nabal. As a result, we are not told what
works and what doesn’t. Living with the
decisions of a Nabal is a difficult thing.
May God give us grace in our dealings with him.